When Oroko People raise their children, friends and family members, they
never imagine they will die so soon. They expect them to grow into adults, marry
and also bring forth their offspring just as their parents.
Looking back about a quarter of a century ago, life has not always
functioned in that orderly manner for many Oroko families. Many parents have
seen their young, vibrant, handsome, beautiful, intelligent, agile and aspiring
children ‘go too soon’. Many parents have lost not one, nor two but sometimes all
their promising children in appalling, tragic and painful circumstances. Decades
ago, it was unheard of for Oroko children to die at such a young and tender age
be it brutally or in strange circumstances.
Most parents would give their lives for their children in tragic
circumstances but in cases where they are powerless and cannot change the death
of their child, the additional burdens of despair and grief are heartbreaking.
But when parents plan, it sometimes does not work out as desired since the child
they plan for, can suddenly be plucked-off this earth without much warning.
Almost on a weekly basis, I am told about the death of young Oroko
people who lived with their parents or far away from home. It is such a painful
development for these parents as one of the most traumatic things that a parent
can go through is losing a child to death.
These thoughts cut across and pierce my heart, even making me laugh a
laughter of sorrow and anguish. Like a famous Oroko Song Writer/Musician Betondi
James in his Bobe o Monyere (Evil in
the World), I always find myself pondering over these issues. What is happening
to the Oroko youth? Why is it so hard for us to live our lives into maturity
and grandparenthood? Borrowing from Betondi James’s Bobe o Monyere (Evil in the World), parents gave birth to children
such that they will be buried by these children but nowadays, it is the reverse
within the Oroko with parents tending to bury their children in most instances .
According to the very popular Oroko proverb kabe emo yaka’a bana, ama e siko okor kor bekeli (the antelope procreated
because it didn’t want to get wet from morning dew), parents would therefore
want their children to stay alive, to clean the morning dew as the need arises
but is that the case within the Oroko? When I asked, many replied that, the
youths themselves share the blame because of the love for fast buck, fame and
front seat. Some people also mentioned jealousy, hatred, vengeance and in most
cases witch-hunting. Other opinions hold that, the rural to urban migration has
no doubt created so many obstacles where Oroko youths easily trip and fall for
good without prior notice.
Death is indeed something we will never understand especially when it
involves young and vibrant Oroko people. No matter the cause, it is time for Oroko
people to do something about these tragic and sudden deaths of young, energetic
and intelligent Oroko youths.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended the funeral and burial of Lokombe
Barbara Bea, a beautiful 33 year old Oroko lady. Barbara was shot at close
range by her husband while at her Crédit Foncier office in Yaoundé instantly killing her. As mourners streamed to their home that weekend,
it was so difficult to comprehend how this charming and attractive life that
was so full of vigour and strength with such a bright future could end so
tragically. Hundreds and hundreds of colleagues, relatives and friends came to
pay their last respects. It was a symbol of honour to see such a huge gathering
paying homage to a young person.
The death of Barbara reminds me yet of the late Nasina Ebanja Philip,
who also died tragically in very appalling and strange circumstances a few
years ago. I also remembered Mami Ababa of Bongongo 1 Barombi who found it so
distressful to bury the children she raised, so she also died a few months
later.
Then I also recalled the sudden death in very strange circumstances of the
young and fresh first principal of GSS now GHS Mbonge, he hailed from Dipenda
Bakundu. His death also reminded me of the sudden ad mysterious death of the first
principal of GSS now GBHS Ekondo Titi, who hailed from Ibemi Bakundu. The Oroko
in Buea will always remember the tears of Mami Mwengela when her child
passed-away and those hot tears of Mami Lobe of Ekondo Titi when her daughter, Maureen Lobe died.
The sudden death like a joke of Lobe Marie Mendoe of Dschang University
still lingers on in the hearts of the Mbakwa Supe people, 17 years after. The people
of Ekondo Titi are still to come-over the loss of Noromo Divine, Melvis Nganya Wa-kemba
and Patience Illambo, all young Oroko youths working at the Ekondo Titi Health
Services.
Mami Nasako of Mbonge still mourns the tragic loss of her young magistrate
son Leo Nasako more than 10 years after. The people of Bongongo 1 Barombi are
still living in awe at the tragic death of young Hans Ngute in a ghastly road
accident along the north Cameroon roads, over 10 years ago.
The Oroko People of Buea and Mundemba still live in great consternation, fear, pain and tears after the sudden and mysterious death of the very beautiful and cute Dr Nanganoa epouse Moki a few weeks ago. The late Dr Moki as she was fondly called,was one of the few Medical Doctors of the Oroko and to the best of my knowledge, the only Oroko Dentist and the list goes on and on, on and on!
There are thousands of similar cases out there that still hang on in
your memories and hard to let go. But all these examples are sad incidents
involving children, whose parents looked up to in their years of aging as
pillars to lean on that died under very tragic and sometimes inexplicable circumstances.
Whether that child is very young
or an adult, the pain is still the same. It is especially hard on the mother, not
that the father does not feel anything for the loss of a child but the grief
that a mother feels is very bitter grief. The father will most likely hold back
from openly expressing their emotions as a bereaved parent as it sometimes comes
with a sense of guilt. It is very natural for both parents to feel this way
when they lose their child but it would be wrong for a parent to feel like they
have failed to do something that could have prevented the death. During a time
when most people need as much support as they can get from family and friends,
this is the time when a lot of friends tend to stay away. Because according to them,
they are not sure what to say during this difficult time.
There is, however, no real textbook solution on how to cope with the
loss of a child and it is unfortunately a thing that we have to deal with. But
in my opinion, there is one thing that will help and that is the BIBLE for it is
the only source that has proven to help those that are grieving.
Rest in peace Barbara, Maureen, Melvis and all those that died
prematurely. I hope that something will be done by Oroko People to halt such
sudden, mysterious and tragic deaths in youthful exuberance of our friends,
relatives and colleagues.