OROKO Youths, Going Too Soon

When Oroko People raise their children, friends and family members, they never imagine they will die so soon. They expect them to grow into adults, marry and also bring forth their offspring just as their parents.

Looking back about a quarter of a century ago, life has not always functioned in that orderly manner for many Oroko families. Many parents have seen their young, vibrant, handsome, beautiful, intelligent, agile and aspiring children ‘go too soon’. Many parents have lost not one, nor two but sometimes all their promising children in appalling, tragic and painful circumstances. Decades ago, it was unheard of for Oroko children to die at such a young and tender age be it brutally or in strange circumstances.

Most parents would give their lives for their children in tragic circumstances but in cases where they are powerless and cannot change the death of their child, the additional burdens of despair and grief are heartbreaking. But when parents plan, it sometimes does not work out as desired since the child they plan for, can suddenly be plucked-off this earth without much warning.

Almost on a weekly basis, I am told about the death of young Oroko people who lived with their parents or far away from home. It is such a painful development for these parents as one of the most traumatic things that a parent can go through is losing a child to death.

These thoughts cut across and pierce my heart, even making me laugh a laughter of sorrow and anguish. Like a famous Oroko Song Writer/Musician Betondi James in his Bobe o Monyere (Evil in the World), I always find myself pondering over these issues. What is happening to the Oroko youth? Why is it so hard for us to live our lives into maturity and grandparenthood? Borrowing from Betondi James’s Bobe o Monyere (Evil in the World), parents gave birth to children such that they will be buried by these children but nowadays, it is the reverse within the Oroko with parents tending to bury their children in most instances .

According to the very popular Oroko proverb kabe emo yaka’a bana, ama e siko okor kor bekeli (the antelope procreated because it didn’t want to get wet from morning dew), parents would therefore want their children to stay alive, to clean the morning dew as the need arises but is that the case within the Oroko? When I asked, many replied that, the youths themselves share the blame because of the love for fast buck, fame and front seat. Some people also mentioned jealousy, hatred, vengeance and in most cases witch-hunting. Other opinions hold that, the rural to urban migration has no doubt created so many obstacles where Oroko youths easily trip and fall for good without prior notice.

Death is indeed something we will never understand especially when it involves young and vibrant Oroko people. No matter the cause, it is time for Oroko people to do something about these tragic and sudden deaths of young, energetic and intelligent Oroko youths.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended the funeral and burial of Lokombe Barbara Bea, a beautiful 33 year old Oroko lady. Barbara was shot at close range by her husband while at her Crédit Foncier office in Yaoundé instantly killing her. As mourners streamed to their home that weekend, it was so difficult to comprehend how this charming and attractive life that was so full of vigour and strength with such a bright future could end so tragically. Hundreds and hundreds of colleagues, relatives and friends came to pay their last respects. It was a symbol of honour to see such a huge gathering paying homage to a young person.

The death of Barbara reminds me yet of the late Nasina Ebanja Philip, who also died tragically in very appalling and strange circumstances a few years ago. I also remembered Mami Ababa of Bongongo 1 Barombi who found it so distressful to bury the children she raised, so she also died a few months later.

Then I also recalled the sudden death in very strange circumstances of the young and fresh first principal of GSS now GHS Mbonge, he hailed from Dipenda Bakundu. His death also reminded me of the sudden ad mysterious death of the first principal of GSS now GBHS Ekondo Titi, who hailed from Ibemi Bakundu. The Oroko in Buea will always remember the tears of Mami Mwengela when her child passed-away and those hot tears of Mami Lobe of Ekondo Titi when her daughter, Maureen Lobe died.

The sudden death like a joke of Lobe Marie Mendoe of Dschang University still lingers on in the hearts of the Mbakwa Supe people, 17 years after. The people of Ekondo Titi are still to come-over the loss of Noromo Divine, Melvis Nganya Wa-kemba and Patience Illambo, all young Oroko youths working at the Ekondo Titi Health Services.

Mami Nasako of Mbonge still mourns the tragic loss of her young magistrate son Leo Nasako more than 10 years after. The people of Bongongo 1 Barombi are still living in awe at the tragic death of young Hans Ngute in a ghastly road accident along the north Cameroon roads, over 10 years ago.

The Oroko People of Buea and Mundemba still live in great consternation, fear, pain and tears after the sudden and mysterious death of the very beautiful and cute Dr Nanganoa epouse Moki a few weeks ago. The late Dr Moki as she was fondly called,was one of the few Medical Doctors of the Oroko and to the best of my knowledge, the only Oroko Dentist and the list goes on and on, on and on!

There are thousands of similar cases out there that still hang on in your memories and hard to let go. But all these examples are sad incidents involving children, whose parents looked up to in their years of aging as pillars to lean on that died under very tragic and sometimes inexplicable circumstances.

 Whether that child is very young or an adult, the pain is still the same. It is especially hard on the mother, not that the father does not feel anything for the loss of a child but the grief that a mother feels is very bitter grief. The father will most likely hold back from openly expressing their emotions as a bereaved parent as it sometimes comes with a sense of guilt. It is very natural for both parents to feel this way when they lose their child but it would be wrong for a parent to feel like they have failed to do something that could have prevented the death. During a time when most people need as much support as they can get from family and friends, this is the time when a lot of friends tend to stay away. Because according to them, they are not sure what to say during this difficult time.

There is, however, no real textbook solution on how to cope with the loss of a child and it is unfortunately a thing that we have to deal with. But in my opinion, there is one thing that will help and that is the BIBLE for it is the only source that has proven to help those that are grieving.

Rest in peace Barbara, Maureen, Melvis and all those that died prematurely. I hope that something will be done by Oroko People to halt such sudden, mysterious and tragic deaths in youthful exuberance of our friends, relatives and colleagues.